Confession...
Well, I'm sorry I've been so quiet this week, but it's been CRAZY around here. I guess the first thing I'd like to address is my abrupt "blogging-break" that I mentioned earlier. Part of it was because I had a lot of work to catch up on, but part of it was also a little bit of my own personal funk. I let someone's criticism of me and my writing get under my skin.
I regret it now, especially because I know that old adage to be true. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. (by Eleanor Roosevelt in case anyone was wondering) I have a long history of being highly sensitive, and anyone who knows me well, knows that about me. It's my own personal struggle. But, that coupled with the crappy self esteem that seems to be my legacy can make for some touchy moments with people who criticize me. In a way all my intense self scrutiny is a method of deflection. It's like, if I'm already aware of all my flaws, it won't hurt so much if someone points them out. Yeah, it's a crappy theory and doesn't really work. :)
I think that I've come to accept what my writing is and isn't. I do this for me. I know that almost no one else is as entertained by the things I write about as I am. I try to be honest and connect with my readers, but in reality, I'm doing this for me. I could write about frivolous things all the time, I could try to spend hours thinking of funny things to entertain you with, but introspection and self examination are interesting to me and vital to my growth as a person.
When you read this blog you are getting a lot of the real me. I report on what I've been up to, so my family & friends far away don't feel too left out when I forget to call them. I write about lessons I've learned, so that maybe people will benefit from my mistakes. I write about my cats and Tim, because I love them and find them both to very entertaining. I'm not ever going to have ads, or become a superstar mommy blogger. I'm going to keep doing what I've done with this blog since 2002 and that is reporting on the world around me as I see it.
So, that's the story. I've got more updates on the week and the upcoming trip, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.
~e
I regret it now, especially because I know that old adage to be true. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. (by Eleanor Roosevelt in case anyone was wondering) I have a long history of being highly sensitive, and anyone who knows me well, knows that about me. It's my own personal struggle. But, that coupled with the crappy self esteem that seems to be my legacy can make for some touchy moments with people who criticize me. In a way all my intense self scrutiny is a method of deflection. It's like, if I'm already aware of all my flaws, it won't hurt so much if someone points them out. Yeah, it's a crappy theory and doesn't really work. :)
I think that I've come to accept what my writing is and isn't. I do this for me. I know that almost no one else is as entertained by the things I write about as I am. I try to be honest and connect with my readers, but in reality, I'm doing this for me. I could write about frivolous things all the time, I could try to spend hours thinking of funny things to entertain you with, but introspection and self examination are interesting to me and vital to my growth as a person.
When you read this blog you are getting a lot of the real me. I report on what I've been up to, so my family & friends far away don't feel too left out when I forget to call them. I write about lessons I've learned, so that maybe people will benefit from my mistakes. I write about my cats and Tim, because I love them and find them both to very entertaining. I'm not ever going to have ads, or become a superstar mommy blogger. I'm going to keep doing what I've done with this blog since 2002 and that is reporting on the world around me as I see it.
So, that's the story. I've got more updates on the week and the upcoming trip, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.
~e
posted by saucybritches at
5/02/2008 05:52:00 PM
5 Comments:
I'm sorry that you were hurt by someone. You should be happy with what you write. How can you even compare one person to another, each with different experiences... and different amounts of time to craft blog posts? Of course some blogger who can write all day is going to end up with a more perfect post than someone who is squeezing it in between work. I find that sometimes my own posts are really good, and other times they just suck. You're always funny, interesting, and personable on your blog, and I always enjoy coming here.
People can be cruel. I started blogging on MySpace several years ago. Back then, I used my blog as an open diary of sorts--it was basically a selfish act because I needed a place for my thoughts and feelings to land. Toward the end of last year, I got a few really nasty messages from people about my writing--how I kept writing about the same things and a few even questioning whether my Mama had died. I was so fed up, that I closed my MySpace account and stopped blogging altogether. I've started a new one, but I'm much less open--and I have rules set up to hopefully remind people to be kind to one another. It sucks that people are so shitty sometimes.
I'm much happier writing for myself--keeping certain private things private--and not letting the assholes get me down. I personally like your blog.
For me, your blog keeps me up to date on your life and that's enough for me. Sometimes your witty and funny (most of the time), sometimes your not. But, that's ok. Nobody should have to be ON all the time, especially around those who love you, flaws and all.
I'm not sure what was said to bother you, but I know you're sensitive, and I'm sorry it got to you. For my part, outside of your being a friend, you're one of the few blogs I read and enjoy. I really appreciate that I get to read the real life of a real, interesting, and introspective person. So many others are performances or wannabe journalists, and I just don't find that sort of plastic very useful. Well, I doubt that helps you much, bu my .02 is to hold what you've got and thanks for doing what you do.
Thanks guys! :) You all have made me feel even better. *hugs to the internet*
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