News and the like...

So the news of the day starts with the fact the my Dad, to my shock and amazement, has become a regular reader of my blog. (Hi Dad!) So, now I feel like I should try to write something for this week. I haven't been updating much lately, mostly because I spend a majority of my days indoors and so much time working on my computer, I've cut back on using it for entertainment. But my blog is much more than just entertainment. I use it to fill in my family and friends on what I've been up to, since I'm SO BAD about calling people. (More about that later)

So here it is, nitty gritty, what I've been up to. We finally got our packet from Humana. That's right, we are self employed and covered by health insurance. At first I felt relief, since I've been worrying about it ever since I got out of the Air Force. The whole, "What happens if Tim breaks his clavicle or something?" but now the worry is, "Oh my god, $391.50 is freaking expensive."

Tim definitely makes enough money to support us in a comfortable fashion, so it's not a huge worry, but it is slightly compounded by the fact that I'm not contributing very much. As a freelancer, I'm doing okay. I make a decent amount of money per week, but I'm having a hard time trying to get more work on my own. My portfolio kind of sucks... Most of the stuff in it isn't very applicable to the kind of work I'm trying to get. I know it will come around eventually, but it's hard to feel stunted.

My other trouble is inspiration. Design is unlike other jobs in that you have to formulate ideas and inspiration out of thin air. I need to feel inspired and artistic in order for me to do my job successfully. So, I'm trying to do other things that keep my mind engaged. Working on my costume helps, getting out on the streets walking around helps, going to shows and museums helps, and reading books helps. I just need to try to apply my ideas and find my "path" as a designer. Styles and trends are constantly changing and if you don't do the research, success will pass you by.

If I have an off day, I can't just phone it in. It shows in my work and it just ends up being time wasted time. And so, I struggle... I think it will get better eventually, but it's hard when you've been doing something for 10 years to always feel inspired. That being said, I am still working on the new phase of business which will be my event design . I need a good brainstorming session to come up with my business plan.

In a way, being home all day makes it more difficult, and it can be very distracting. I start to play with the cats, or vacuum, or want to work on my costume. I feel like I need to get away and go somewhere quiet and work on my plan. At any rate, this transitional time is hard. If I seem unavailable or distant, it's because I'm trying to work it all out.

That's where I'm at right now... more later.