Gay Sheepherding Movies and Valentine’s wishes…

Tim and I watched Brokeback Mountain today. It was a wonderful movie. The cinematography was amazing and the story very heart wrenching. I can see why it is getting nominated for so many awards. I was annoyed with how mumbly Heath Ledger’s character was. I suppose it was the only way they could make his Australian accent seem less noticeable, but geez, he sounded like Mumbles on Dick Tracy. Oh yeah, and since there was nary a cow in sight, I prefer to categorize it as a Gay Shepherd movie.

I had a wonderful Valentine’s day. Tim and I spent an evening savoring wonderful food at Bistro Vendome. I finally tried Foie Gras. It was so delicious! Anyway, the entire meal was spectacular. That place always does it up right. Tim also got me some sexy pj’s and I got him liquor, jerky, and candy. Ah, romance… I just realized the other day that as of May 15th, we will have been together for three years. I remember thinking at some point when I was stationed in Montana and living this horribly shitty little life, and feeling sorry for myself… "How will I ever find anyone who will love me? I’m so, unlovable." Well, I guess anything is possible. I never thought I’d be this happy, but I guess it’s hard to see the light when you’re in the dark. I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s day.

And in other news, I think I’m gonna get a job. I can’t handle this working from home thing. Even when I have lots of freelance work to do, it’s just too boring being in the house all the time. I need human interaction. And although I love my husband, we need to have a break from each other. I can’t spend 24 hours a day with him. It’s just too much… I’m not sure what kind of job I want to get. I mean, we’ve got these vacations coming up and then I’ll be starting school again. Maybe I’ll just get something part time. Who knows? I haven’t worked out the details yet but it’s definitely going to happen soon.

We went rock climbing today with Jenny, Heather, and Dane. Dane qualified on Top Roping and got his new climbing card. Now we've officially suckered him in... Then I had the worst climbs today. My muscles were all fatigued before I’d even finished. I didn’t warm up with an easy run, I just jumped straight to a 5.9 and got stuck with these tiny little tic-tac sized holds. Anyway, I could tell I hadn’t worked out in a few days. Plus, my heart isn’t in as good of shape as it should be. I need more cardio workouts. God, I can not wait until the weather warms up and we can take our mountain bikes out.

So, part of my new leaf turnover is that I’m going to try to get up a bit earlier and get my work out in before 8 am. I need to have some quiet time to myself to meditate and get geared up for my day. Part of my biggest problem since I got out of the AF is finding the motivation to get things done. I used to be so hard core, but these days I just feel a little lazy.

I’m sure it has to do with developing my own internal motivation. I mean, I have it, but I have a hard time using it to my advantage. I always end up flipping out over something unimportant, like cleaning my fish tank, instead of sending invoices or working on my website. *sigh* I haven’t got it all worked out. I am feeling better these days though. I haven’t cried in weeks, so that must be a good sign. Oh and I’m still not smoking and I only have a drink with dinner on the weekends. I think that alone has helped me stop feeling like I’m still on vacation.

I’m really excited about our trip to California in April. We’ve got a wedding to attend, so we are turning the trip into a full fledged vacation. We’re going to check out Catalina Island, and all of L.A. We might even hit up San Diego before we head back. It’s gonna be so nice to see the ocean again. Plus, I can get back to my celebrity sightings list. Last year I only saw Matthew McConaughey and Brad Garrett. Maybe this year I’ll see some real A-Listers. You never know. Maybe I will run into Heath Ledger and explain to him about the whole Cowboy/Shepherd thing.