Fat Mall Girls and Oktoberfest Infidelity

Yesterday was a doozey. I only worked a half day at the Base because I had volunteered to be a beer server at the Denver Oktoberfest. I left work around 12ish to runs some errands first. I headed to the Aurora Mall to drop my wedding rings off at Kay Jewelers so they could solder my engagement ring and wedding band together. After I dropped them off, I went to a couple stores to see if I could find a little “loaner” to wear while I was working the Oktoberfest booth. I mean, the last thing I need is men in Lederhosen thinking I’m available.

I stopped in this little store, kind of like Claire’s or something. There were these two young, very overweight women working there talking about weight loss. One girl says to the other, “Well, I know I need to stop eating fast food, but it’s hard. I think maybe I’ll just get some TrimSpa or something.” The other girl says, “No, that stuff doesn’t work. You just need to start working out and eating right, that’s what I do. I mean, I try to anyway, but my metabolism isn’t what it used to be. My abs need some work.” Now, I don’t mean to be a bitch, and I’m sure to some people, big is beautiful, but this girls’ abs need work? Are you kidding me? She had no waist at all except where she’d cinched her belt too tight and her stomach was hanging over the top. And TrimSpa? This must be who they are marketing their company to. Young overweight women with no discipline, who don’t know any better. Can we blame Anna Nicole Smith for this?

As I'm leaving that store, I get a call from Tim telling me that Summer (his Ex) is stopping by the house to drop off some of Daisy’s toys and things. Now, I don’t really want to see her, I mean that first time we met was really enough for me. So, I putter around the mall for a while longer so as to avoid seeing her. Then I head home, and as I’m driving there, I call Tim to see if she’s left yet. He says that she’s just walked in the door and wants to thank me for letting Daisy move in with us. *sigh* So, I get home and walk in. I mean, I half expected her to be wearing some sort of rodeo clown get-up similar to the first time we met. But there she is, pin-thin and dressed like a normal person.

She proceeds to gush about how *cute* I am in my uniform.( vomit! ) Then she thanks us for taking Daisy etc. I mean, I don’t know if it’s normal to be insecure about meeting your husband’s ex. But she is not just any ex. She was his first love, his first *everything*. And they were together for like 4 years or something. As we are all standing in the dining room, I’m secretly worried that he’s thinking about all the times they had sex, or that her butt looks cute in those jeans. Meanwhile I’m looking all scrubby in my uniform. Finally she leaves, but not before saying that she’ll call us whenever she gets back into town. I want to yell, “Don’t bother! I don’t ever wanna see your skinny ass in this house again!” but instead I wave pleasantly. It's a good thing I choose to ignore my inner child most of the time. :P

I scramble around showering and getting ready ( I ended up just wearing my old silver wedding band) to head down for my shift at Oktoberfest. I think Tim could tell I was kind of put off by the Summer encounter. As we drove downtown in silence, he just put his hand on mine and said, “ I choo-choo choose you”. My sweet husband, he always says the right thing. :)

So my shift at Oktoberfest was pretty uneventful. I mean, it was the usual drunken frat boy types, the fat men in lederhosen, the chicken song every half hour, meat on a stick etc. etc. Toward the end of my shift one of my repeat customers this middle aged man with a bleached blond wife, came back to my tent (soused and sans wife) and leaned over the table and said, “What do I have to do to get you to take cash for beer?”, I said, “I’m sorry but I just can’t do that, it’s against the rules…” So then he leans further over my table and says quietly, “You wanna make out?” I look at him like, *are you nuts?* and say, ”Um…NO!” He looks at me all insulted, “Well why not? That doesn’t make me feel very good...” And as these words come out of his mouth, I see Tim come walking up behind him. So I say, “Have you met my husband Tim?” Tim smiles pleasantly and looks at him expectantly. So the drunken guy just mumbles something about trying to get a free beer and looks at me like *bitch* and high tails it out of there. Luckily Tim has a really good sense of humor *and timing* but it was pretty funny none the less.

So then we rounded out the night by have a fabulous dinner right in the heart of Larimer square at Tamayo with a bunch of our friends. During dinner I recounted my day to Sheila and she agreed that Tim is the most awesome husband ever. Everytime my inner ugly duckling makes me doubt his love, he just drowns it out with his sweetness and understanding. What a relief to know that men like this exist.