My thoughts
Work – It is in the forefront of my mind that my time is drawing to a close and each day that passes, I get more and more scared. I’m sure this is the right decision but my future still looks cloudy… I wish I felt more confident in my abilities.
Tim – Sometimes I worry that he doesn’t understand how scared I feel. I’m telling him about it, but I really feel like crying every time I do. What if I am just average? That is my hugest fear…
Kitties – The kitties still hate Daisy. I know it’s going to take a long time, but hearing them hiss at each other all the time is sad…
Wants – I want to keep this house. I wish there was some way. I know that there isn’t and I’m trying to prepare myself for moving somewhere smaller… but this house is my sanctuary. I feel most happy and comfortable when I am here. The room I am sitting in right now was the room where Tim and I decided that we would get married… I’d really hate to leave it.
Needs – I need a new workout plan. I’ve only managed to maintain my weight and it’s discouraging…Three months ago I’ thought I’d make it down to 120 no problem, but after eating right and working out, it still hasn’t happened. Sure, my body fat is lower, but I haven’t reached my goal and that is what bothers me…I need to push myself harder.
Tim – Sometimes I worry that he doesn’t understand how scared I feel. I’m telling him about it, but I really feel like crying every time I do. What if I am just average? That is my hugest fear…
Kitties – The kitties still hate Daisy. I know it’s going to take a long time, but hearing them hiss at each other all the time is sad…
Wants – I want to keep this house. I wish there was some way. I know that there isn’t and I’m trying to prepare myself for moving somewhere smaller… but this house is my sanctuary. I feel most happy and comfortable when I am here. The room I am sitting in right now was the room where Tim and I decided that we would get married… I’d really hate to leave it.
Needs – I need a new workout plan. I’ve only managed to maintain my weight and it’s discouraging…Three months ago I’ thought I’d make it down to 120 no problem, but after eating right and working out, it still hasn’t happened. Sure, my body fat is lower, but I haven’t reached my goal and that is what bothers me…I need to push myself harder.
posted by saucybritches at
8/31/2005 06:16:00 PM
4 Comments:
If I may:
Work: I don't know what your abilities are beyond costume design, and I don't know what you're endeavoring to do out of the military, but I have to tell you: compared to just about everything in the military, civilian life is CAKE. You'll be fine.
Tim: Not touching that one, but I'd rather you cried. I used to worry over words like "average" and "exceptional" and "rides the short bus," but now I don't. Now I wear my helmet and eat soft foods. Sorry. Didn't mean to make this about me. (You'll be fine).
Kitties: This is why I don't own cats. Or, quite frankly, have a girlfriend.
Wants: Think of this as a new beginning. Think of it as an adventure. Don't think of it as losing a house. It's a chance to change your shell. Wish I could remember that fable about the hermit crab. Crap. I suck.
Needs: Weight is a tricky thing. It's entirely conceivable (and probable) that you've lost fat and replaced it with muscle, which is denser than fat, and thus you won't lose weight. You might even gain weight. Weight goals are flawed for this reason. BMI and other healthier metrics are preferable from a physical as well as emotional well-being perspective.
Cheer up E. You sound like me. No one needs another me.
*grins* Thanks derek...
I have moments like those where I get really worried (it's a woman thing i guess) and most of it's irrational, but it feels better to get it out. I know you're right....and i appreciate the advice. :)
Work: You are absolutely amazing in your talents. Like Derek said the work ethic and drive you have in the Military will shine in civilian life. You'll be amazing.
Tim:Well, He's great, and your right. He has never been in the military and it does provide some security. However, I think the military can stifle you, especially you. There is no ceiling to what you can do on your own. Hang in there, and besides at least he listens. :)
Kitties: They are adorable.
Wants: Rememeber when you found out you were moving to Denver? I rest my case. It is natural to fear the unknown but it is better to move towards than hide. Be strong little piglet.
Needs: I heard a famous work personality say:
When I was in my twenties I exercised to look great. In my thirties I exercise to stay healthy. In my forties, I exercised for LIFE. In other words, what is the motivation and don't burn yourself out. Try to enjoy yourself regardless of where your at and allow yourself to be human. Balance is the key.
Just a little advice from mom. Your beautiful honey.
thanks mamasita.... You are my hero. :)
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