The justification of new crappy decisions based on old crappy ones:
Everybody has that black blemish of oops in their past. I have like a million. I was a foolishly trusting teenager and that continued on into my early twenties. The charge cards, the bad boyfriends, the back stabbing, and the "but I thought it was okay since you all were broken up"... It all lies in the darkness of days past and I'm happy to leave it there. But then my little sister comes along and justifies her own lack in judgment by saying, "But when you were my age, didn't you________?" Well, yeah,but I was a giant IDIOT! Don't you see that I'm trying to save you the pain and suffering that I went through? I had the misfortune of total trust in my gut instinct and as Rob Gordon says in High Fidelity, "I have come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."
It's true. Had I thought less with my gut and more with my teeny tiny brain, I might have been able to circumvent some of the stupidity. Or maybe not... Maybe we are all destined to leave the nest, become the prodigal child, and then figure it all out later. Maybe everyone I know has hidden scars for past decisions that bit them in the ass. Maybe my sister needs to totally screw up and be miserable and then figure it out on her own. But why do I have to be here for the spiral of youthful misadventures? I guess it's because I love her. I talk to her, all the time, hoping that something will sink in and she will magically figure out what I've been saying all along. I like to live hopefully.
I think the most important lesson that I've learned, is that when you are making decisions, you really need to ask yourself, "What is at the core of this? Am I doing this because I feel needy or fat or sad or bored or angry?" Don't feed your symptoms, don't shop to feel better, don't eat when you're bored, don't fuck cause you feel ugly... Find out the source and then do the one thing that will make it better. It's about taking steps to fix instead of feed.
That's it kids... That's my method to life. If you don't listen to anything else, please remember that. Oh and pay your credit cards on time... Getting your credit repaired is a lot of work, but building it right from the beginning is way easier.
~e
It's true. Had I thought less with my gut and more with my teeny tiny brain, I might have been able to circumvent some of the stupidity. Or maybe not... Maybe we are all destined to leave the nest, become the prodigal child, and then figure it all out later. Maybe everyone I know has hidden scars for past decisions that bit them in the ass. Maybe my sister needs to totally screw up and be miserable and then figure it out on her own. But why do I have to be here for the spiral of youthful misadventures? I guess it's because I love her. I talk to her, all the time, hoping that something will sink in and she will magically figure out what I've been saying all along. I like to live hopefully.
I think the most important lesson that I've learned, is that when you are making decisions, you really need to ask yourself, "What is at the core of this? Am I doing this because I feel needy or fat or sad or bored or angry?" Don't feed your symptoms, don't shop to feel better, don't eat when you're bored, don't fuck cause you feel ugly... Find out the source and then do the one thing that will make it better. It's about taking steps to fix instead of feed.
That's it kids... That's my method to life. If you don't listen to anything else, please remember that. Oh and pay your credit cards on time... Getting your credit repaired is a lot of work, but building it right from the beginning is way easier.
~e
posted by saucybritches at
7/28/2005 06:46:00 PM
2 Comments:
Hindsight is definately 20/20, isn't it? My, how we grow!
(Sorry I've been absent, I was away for several days!)
I'm still foolishly trusting. If someone says they're my friend, I take them at face value. Most of the time this is fine, but every now and then I get my ass kicked a lot, too.
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