The truth is out there...
In my first few years in the military my personal life really held center stage for me. Whatever minor disagreements at work were just "filler" for my days and all the real drama happened in my free time. When I started coming up on the end of my first term, about a year before, I assumed that I would be getting out. I had always planned on getting out and nothing earth-shaking had really happened to make me change my mind. But socially, I was starting to figure things out which left a bit more free time for involvement at my job.
I've always enjoyed my work immensely. I used to jump out of bed in the morning just excited about being able to use all the cool programs and being able to create things. I always thought that was the measure of my success. How many beautiful things can I create? I received some accolades, but my work at the time wasn't anything special. My supervisors (all four of them...) hadn't really brought anything to my "creative" table. One was a Photo Lab Maintenance guy, (What the hell does he know about posters?), one was a video guy (he was a jerk, and in between talking to his girlfriends on the phone would make lewd comments to the girls in the office) one had an anger problem ( he like to call me names...that was a good time...) and one was so wrapped up in sitting in her office gabbing on the phone that I couldn't have talked to her about anything, unless maybe I called her.
Each one of them had ended up in their career fields as an accident and had no desire to learn anything beyond the same tiled backgrounds and plastic wrap effects. For a young person with no direction, the worst kind of supervisor is an apathetic one.
There was a captain in our squadron who at one time had been our flight commander. Like most flights we kind of had a revolving door policy on flight commanders. Just as we got one broken in, another would show up to replace him or her. He was no different except he was really interested in what we did. He always came into our shop to see what we had going on. My BVIM was always annoyed by him, but I thought it was cool that he made an effort. He was the one, in the end that convinced me that the Air Force had a place for someone like me.
Maybe he was wrong. Looking back on that decision, I realize that he was just doing what any good officer would do. Making sure the Air Force didn't lose someone that they'd spent the money on training. But for whatever reason, his recognition made me want to stay in and see what the future would hold. The time I spent at Malmstrom AFB was a learning experience and when I came to Buckley I thought it was going to be totally different. And in most respects it was. I was lucky enough to end up with a coworker who challenged me. (Tiffany) Even though she and I didn't really see eye to eye, and we still don't... She,with her competitive nature, constantly motivated me to "kick it up a notch". My supervisor at the time fancied himself a graphic designer but he came from the old school way of thinking and Tiff and I often joked about how behind the times he was.
Time passed and my work really started to improve and I have to say that when I look at things now I realize how far I've come. I don't think I'm especially talented, but I do think that everyone has a niche and I have found mine. I've always had a lot of ideas and this job does allow me to express them. But in every job, there are always downsides to things. Whatever happiness and satisfaction I find in creating, it is always tinged with frustration at my work center.
The Air Force is not as strict as some branches and for that I'm grateful. I've had disagreements with policy many times, but with someone who has a strong personality like mine, I figure that it normal. My biggest disappointment in recent time is that after being in the AF for over 7 years, I have yet to have a supervisor who has taught me anything about my job. Everything I know, I know from poring over Design Annuals, trial and error, and honest appraisals of my work by coworkers who actually understand composition.
I'm not complaining about the personality here. Although lord knows, my supervisors personality drives me nuts.... but it's more about trying to figure out why it is that karma keeps on putting me in a situation where I have to answer all my questions on my own. I wish I had a supervisors who's abilities as a leader and professional in his (or her) field blew mine off the map. Someone who could make me respect them. Because, I've never experienced that. And that my friends is the bottom line.
I don't hate my job because it's military. I hate my job because the military keeps saddling with one supervisor after another who doesn't deserve my respect. Maybe on the outside, things might be different....
~e

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